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Friday, September 02, 2005

Films that McGyver missed

Kids, you’re living in a generation devoid of any real entertainment. Captain Scarlet is now made out of computers and afternoon TV consists of talentless no-marks displaying their ineptitude on a national scale in a desperate bid for their 15 seconds of fame. Let me tell you about a man who was cooler than The Fonz, who was smarter than Columbo and was more handsome than Face; this was a cat who wasn’t fazed by anything – he averted several wars, saved approximately a billion lives and bedded crazy, boy-band amounts of ass. I’m speaking of course, about the legend that was MacGyver.

Despite a TV show that showed off his godlike escapism powers and DIY skills, Mac was cruelly denied a decent film career by the powers that be; therefore, we can only imagine how some of Hollywood’s finest films would have been improved by his inclusion. Today, right here and right now, we continue to live the MacGyver dream and dare to fantasise about an industry rife with MacGyver’s daring deeds...

Ask yourself this question: would the Titanic really have sunk if MacGyver were at the wheel? You bet your sweet ass it wouldn’t.