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Friday, February 04, 2005

Situps from Hell

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Thursday, February 03, 2005

Celeb LOVE Meter

So you enjoy stalking celebrities huh? Why waste your time on a celeb who will never love you as you love them? Now you can increase your chances of making your stalkee fall in love with you by taking the celebrity stalker compatibility test before you start stalking in earnest. Enter your first and last name below + your intended stalkee's name and check your compatibility. Happy stalking.


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Loch Ness Monster

The three friends were brave. They didn't get scared by the stories the local population told them. No they were fierce and rowed their tiny boat up the lake. The first day they took a picture of the lake in the afternoon when the sun was about to set:


Too bad the monster didn't show itself, but they kept on searching. After a night with a nice 16 year old Lagavulin single malt, they still had a bit of a headache. A good Scottish breakfast was served in their hotel and they returned to the lake to continue their search:


As you can see on their photo above, the weather wasn't as nice as the day before. That may very well have been the reason the monster didn't show itself that day.
In the pub that night they were laughed at by the other people. Who would, in their right minds, believe the stories about the Monster of Lochness? Of course, our three friends. The day after they went up the lake one final time, only to come home with yet another photo of the lake:

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Viagra Party Out of Control

A rest home has been forced to close and the owners are expecting to get their brains sued out after 18 nurses, aides, assistants and orderlies got pregnant following a "Viagra party" for the facility's elderly patients!

"It was supposed to be a morale booster -- and now we're out of business," says Mary Stinson, a receptionist who lost her job when the owners of Merry Rest Retirement Home, in Los Angeles, announced they were shutting down under pressure from the State of California.

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For all the MJ Fans out there

29 things that Michael Jackson looks more like than a human being...

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Shit Storm! OH NO

A passing airplane dumped a heavy load of icy human waste on a Leominster woman's car Thursday night, minutes after she had parked it in her driveway.

Nina Gambone, 31, of 24 Albert Drive, had just arrived home from a trip to the store at around 7 p.m. when she heard what she later called "an explosion. The entire house shook."

Gambone said she thought the impact had been caused by a bomb -- until she saw an icy lump the size of a beach ball in her car.

"I'm not touching the poop ice," said Gambone's son, 13-year-old Nathan Rosenblad.

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Drank a Guy Under the Table (PIC)

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Wednesday, February 02, 2005

100 Worst Porn Movie Titles

The 100 worst porn movie titles. A bad porn movie title does the opposite of its intention, which is to arouse your interests and convince you to buy the tape. Nope, these titles work against them -- they disgust, confuse or just plain turn you off. I've divided them up into 5 categories : 1) Gross, 2) Groan, 3) Stupid, 4) What The Hell, and 5) The Porn Store Clerk Laughed At Me. I'll elaborate later.

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Toy Hostage

A photograph posted on an Islamist Web site appears to be that of an action figure and not a U.S. soldier being held hostage.

Liam Cusack, the marketing coordinator for Dragon Models USA, said the figure pictured on the Web site is believed to be "Special Ops Cody," a military action figure the company manufactured in late 2003.

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This Chick Knows How to Clean Windows

Admit it, you don't like cleaning the windows of your house. Maybe your wife, girlfriend, husband or boyfriend does that job around the house, but they hate it too. It doesn't matter anymore after Milena Velba stops by. Maybe some of you know her. I never heard of her before, but believe me, your windows will need to be cleaned!

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Check out this Window Cleaner

Admit it, you don't like cleaning the windows of your house. Maybe your wife, girlfriend, husband or boyfriend does that job around the house, but they hate it too. It doesn't matter anymore after Milena Velba stops by. Maybe some of you know her. I never heard of her before, but believe me, your windows will need to be cleaned!

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Topless Britney???

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Police.... Out of Control?

Driver Laurie Motherby, 77, faces court for speeding — despite a roadside camera showing a man in his 20s at the wheel.

Laurie wrote to cops saying he had sold the car in the photo – and it was clearly not him pictured. But the retired rail worker must still appear before JPs at Beverely, East Yorks.

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Best Tits on the Beach CONTEST

My nephew went to this beach and when he saw all those ladies there he walked around all day in a state of total arousal. Later that day they were to hold a contest on the beach and without knowing what the contest was about, my nephew decided to join. Guess who they picked the winner?

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What's Wrong with this Pic???

What's wrong with this pic?

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Nice Cuban Cigar!

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Dammit! I want to go shopping

Thousands of people shop at Wal-Mart every day, but few do so at gunpoint.

WCMH-TV of Columbus, Ohio, reports that Jeremy Schumacher, 26, came home from work at about 2 a.m. last Thursday morning when two guys with a gun ambushed him outside his front door.

They told him they wanted to go shopping.

Rifling through Schumacher's wallet, they found no money, but did turn up a credit card belonging to his girlfriend, Pamela Logan.

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Saran Wrapped CAR

Honey, I don't want you to go to work today. I want you to stay at home so we can bake cookies together. If you'd rather do something else that's okay with me too, but I want you to stay here!

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Tattoo Artist of the Year

When local tattoo artist Andy Sakai was sentenced to five years in prison for inking profanities on hordes of hapless customers, many thought his days of body desecration were over.

They were wrong.

Sakai’s latest victims are no longer college students. His current targets are, ironically, his fellow inmates.

“I wanted a stack of skulls on my back,” said murderer Jimmy Drake, “and that Asian prick gave me a giant Winnie the Pooh!”

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Just in time for Super Bowl!

This Sunday is Super Sunday. Well, at least in the United States when the Super Bowl is played. For those of you not interested in American Football there are still many other things to do with NFL items. Let's take a look at one: Superbowl Sex Toys.

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My Kind of Bike Ride











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Monday, January 31, 2005

Japanese Penis God???





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Myth of Black Men = Big Penises = UNTRUE!

There is something I just have to do. I feel that it is my responsibillity. Everybody seems to think it is true, but I am going to show you that some myths are not true.

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Weird... Human Pony

Okay, so you have your hobbies. This hobby of yours is a bit strange. It may even be considered absurd, but the same people think your are too. No problem so far, but why do you want your picture on the internet?

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Stoner Joke

A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past
and looks up and says to the monkey "hey! what are you doing?"

The monkey says, "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."

So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have a few
joints. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to
get a drink from the river.

The lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the
river. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him
to the side, then asks the lizard, "What's the matter with you?"

The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint
with the monkey in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river
while taking a drink.

The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the jungle,
finds the tree were the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint, and he
looks up and says "hey you!"

The Monkey looks down and says "FFFF********KKK dude.......how much water
did you drink?!!"

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Pornstar Pooch Snatched

Porn star Tera Patrick's beloved toy fox terrier has been dognapped. Six-pound Chopper, who appears with Patrick in her upcoming X-rated opus, "Reign of Tera," was snatched from her Cadillac Escalade while she shopped at a Van Nuys, Calif., mall this week. Patrick is offering a $5,000 reward for his safe return. "I don't want to have kids at all, so this is my baby," Patrick told us. "He is my everything. I take him on the set. He's been in magazines. I'll pay $5,000 to get him back, no questions asked. He belongs with me."

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Grandma smokes a bong

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Actress' Nude Flight Seduction

Movie beauty Lara Flynn Boyle has been accused of stripping nude and trying to seduce a fellow passenger during a recent first-class flight to London.

Passengers claim the Men in Black 2 star started behaving strangely halfway through the ten-hour British Airways journey from Los Angeles to the capital's Heathrow Airport.

But they were stunned when she stripped off her clothes and tried to climb into the bed of a sleeping stranger, reports British newspaper the Mail on Sunday.

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Desperate for Attention?

I think that the latest movie starring Rose McGowan must have sucked big-time. I have no idea what it was called, but if you're a really successful actress I think you wouldn't show up on the red carpet like this. I only hope she will do lots and lots more films that will go directly into dvd-stores....

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Top 10 Stupidest Tattoos

So you've saved up a few bucks, taken a few hard shots, and now you're ready to put a permanant mark on your body that you will no doubt regret down the road at some point. But no worries... If you pay extra close attention to the actual ink job and the location on your body you are attending to... You can easily avoid getting an extremely stupid tattoo..... Here are 10 of the most possibly stupid tattoos I have ever seen.

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