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Saturday, February 12, 2005

Priceless (PIC)

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This SUCKS

Some asshole is begging for money on the Internet or he'll kill his pet bunny. Sick.

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This guy got some SKILLZ (VIDEO)

I wish I can draw naked people like that.

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Japanese Period Toon

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Alien Pussy (PIC)

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Getting Fucked Twice Over

A Polish man left paralysed after being run over by a train has been forced to pay compensation to the country’s train operator for causing delays to the service, a railway spokesman said yesterday.

Pawel Banaszek was lying on the tracks when he was run over by the train. It was claimed he had been beaten up in a fight outside a bar and left for dead on the rails.

But a local prosecutor said that there was no conclusive evidence a fight had taken place.

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High School Stupidity

In May of 2000, it was reported in the local paper that thirty-four students who had attended Hanover High School in Pennsylvania had had their pictures taken for the school yearbook giving an obscene gesture.



The principal, John P. Cokefair, had sent a letter to the thirty-four students' parents explaining that because of the preponderance of this gesture in the photos, the offending photos would be re-taken, without the gesturing students, and these students would bear the cost of the re-shoot.

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Being Lazy Hurts

Being lazy in the office can sometimes hurt. Check out this video.

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Blonde Joke

Im a blonde and everything but even I laughed at this joke:

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a
handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighbourhood.

She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he
had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"

The blonde said

"How about 50 dollars?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint and other materials that she
might need were in the garage.

The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her
husband: "Does she realise that the porch goes all the way around the
house?"

The man replied, "She should, she was standing on it."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.

"You're finished already?" he asked.

"Yes," the blonde answered," and had paint left over, so I gave it two
coats."

Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50.

"And by the way," the blonde added,"it's not a Porch, It's a Ferrari..."

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Mouse in a Piranha Aquarium

This is what happens when a sadistic jackass drops a mouse into an aquarium full of piranhas

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Friday, February 11, 2005

Another Internet Talent

If you thought William Hung was a genius, check out THIS GUY

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Ex Boyfriend PAYBACK VIDEO

It's so sad to see a once sweet relationship degenerate into an x-rated PAYBACK VIDEO. Revenge is a bitch.

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Weird Sex Fetish

Some people's sex fetishes really stink

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Dumbass of the Day Awardee (PIC)

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Sing Naked!

It takes a lot of nerve to sing at a karaoke club, and even more to do it in the buff.

A Connecticut bar owner says he has 120 people signed up to participate in a "Naked Karaoke" event Saturday night.

The idea began as a joke. The owner of the Berlin Station Cafe says he wasn't serious when he advertised the event a year ago. Marty St. Pierre says his fliers created such an uproar that he was threatened with fines and even arrest.

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The GAY Flintstones?

Fred and Barney should be banned because they are virtually inseparable, are never seen wearing pants and live together in the suggestively-named town of Bedrock, complains a conservative activist.

The ongoing campaign against alleged gay icons in animated cartoons continued today as a newly formed conservative group demanded that television stations stop broadcasting "The Flintstones" at once.

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His Penis Regrew???

A multi-talented Zimbabwean international athlete who has won several awards in regional competitions as a female athlete has been arrested after it was discovered that he is a man.

Samukeliso Sithole, 17, was arrested last week after a female friend who had undressed in full view of the athlete found out that he was a male, the state dailies The Herald and Chronicle said. Sithole however insists that he is a woman, even though a medical doctor has confirmed that he is a man.

He told the court that he was born with both male and female organs and a traditional healer gave him herbs that helped him become 100 percent woman. Because his parents neglected to pay the traditional healer his full fees, his male organs recently grew back, Sithole said.

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Catwoman's still alive

After the the last catwoman movie featuring Halle Barry flopped tremendously, we thought there would never be a new catwoman movie. We were wrong. Here's the new catwoman.

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Party on Wheels

Police found more than they bargained for when they stopped a U-Haul truck with a burned-out taillight.

Instead of furniture in the back, police on Monday found a rolling keg party with about 20 people drinking whiskey and beer. Eleven people were charged with underage drinking.

"They all kind of froze and didn't know what to do, I guess," officer Robert Marshall said.

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Naughty Valentine Cards

So you don't like the idea of Valentine's Day? Me neither. But if you want some completely inappropriate valentine's card, Heavy's Naughty Cards are the best!

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13 year old boy bangs hot teacher

Note: This stuff is the kind of stuff guys fantasize about. However, in REALITY, this activity is a crime since kids have NO LEGAL RIGHT to consent to sex until they become 18. That's the way it should be--kids have to be protected. However, in the interest of weird news, here's the news article.

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http://edition.cnn.com/2005/LAW/02/...d.ap/index.html

McMINNVILLE, Tennessee (AP) -- An elementary school teacher has been charged with having sex with one of her students, a 13-year-old boy, at his home and at school, authorities said Tuesday.
Pamela Turner, 27, was charged Monday with 15 counts of sexual battery by an authority figure and 13 counts of statutory rape for acts between November and January.

Turner, who teaches physical education at Centertown Elementary, lived at the boy's house "for a brief period of time when she was moving from residence to residence," Warren County prosecutor Dale Potter said. The boy's parents did not know anything about the relationship, he said.

Potter said Turner was arrested Monday in Clarkrange, her hometown about 55 miles northeast of McMinnville in central Tennessee.

Conviction on all counts could be punished by up to 100 years in prison. But Potter said it was more likely that a conviction would mean a minimum of a year to several years in prison.

Turner is free on $50,000 bond. She's been placed on leave by the school system.

A telephone message left at the home of her father, who lives in Clarkrange, was not immediately returned Tuesday evening.

Turner's husband filed for divorce in January, alleging inappropriate marital conduct, according to the Southern Standard newspaper in McMinnville.

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Thursday, February 10, 2005

Funny Pic of the Day

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This Bitch should be a Sushi Chef

LONDON (Reuters) - A British woman was sentenced to two and a half years in jail Thursday for ripping off her ex-lover's testicle with her bare hands during a drunken brawl after he refused her sex.

Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage in May last year after Geoffrey Jones, 37, who had ended their long-term relationship, rejected her advances.

She grabbed him by the genitals, tearing off his left testicle, then hid it in her mouth before a friend of Jones handed it back to him saying "that's yours."

Monti, of Birkenhead, near Liverpool, pleaded guilty to unlawful wounding at an earlier hearing.

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Very Painful Video

I hope the people that got featured in this video are okay. I have a feeling MANY are not feeling too good right now.

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Stupid pic of the day

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Anna K's fan

A homeless man obsessed with tennis star Anna Kournikova swam naked across Biscayne Bay in search of her home and got caught lounging in the buff at her neighbor's pool, police said.

Police said William Lepeska screamed, "Anna! Save me!" as he was arrested Jan. 30 from the house three doors down from Kournikova's $5 million home. He faced a court appearance Friday.

Lepeska, 40, who has an "Anna" tattoo on his right biceps, was charged with stalking and burglary, as well as exposing himself in the presence of a child, after the neighbor's 3-year-old daughter saw him lying naked on a lawn chair by the pool.

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Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Hitler still getting mail

Adolf Hitler may have committed suicide in his bunker in 1945, but Germany's post office still appears to be looking for him.

A postcard mailed to "Fuehrer Adolf Hitler" was given a post office address correction and forwarded to Germany's Parliament, a spokeswoman for the chamber confirmed onWednesday.

Sent from Britain, the card was officially stamped with the "proper" address by the Deutsche Post and the words: "Mail corrected due to insufficient address - please alert sender. Ascertained address: Deutsche Bundestag, 11011 Berlin."

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Spoiled Jackass wants to be a Fireman

Reality TV star Jack Osbourne is giving up showbiz to become a firefighter in New York.

Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne's youngest child is fed-up with the selfish attitude prevalent in the entertainment industry and wants to help other people instead.

Osbourne, 19, explains: "I'm enrolling on a firefighting course this summer in New York. I'm serious. It's something I've always thought about but now is definitely the time to do it.

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Mother of the Year

If this was done in your livingroom, how would you feel about your mother?

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Sweet US Soldiers

American girl soldiers have been shamed in a mud-wrestling scandal.

Photographs taken by colleagues showed them grappling and exposing their boobs at a party in an Iraqi prison.



Some of the 30 pictures reveal male soldiers cheering on two women in bras and panties in a mud-filled paddling pool.

In others, military policewomen bared their breasts or flashed thongs for male comrades with cameras.

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Ghetto Interior Decoration???

Why would someone cover the interior of his home entirely in tin foil?

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Sexy Soccer

Stadiums will be packed for years and years to come, if teams in the Premiership can get players to score goals like this one.

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Heidi Klum = Photographer

She is used to being pictures taken of, but what do we get when a supermodel makes photos herself? Here's a photo that Heidi Klum took during carnaval 2005. Did he want to make a statement?

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Goon Fu

You might think that martial arts specialists don't have to be scared of nobody. But what if you're a master in kungfu? Somebody should tell him never to bring his skills to a gunfight.

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Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Corey Feldman tries to PIMP Michael Jackson

In yet another sign of the times, faded child star Corey Feldman tries to get publicity by reminiscing on the 'weird' nature of his childhood friendship with Michael Jackson. Poor, MJ.

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Jackass Sex Tape

The other day a reader e-mailed me asking if I'd heard of the new Bam Margera Sex Tape that had reportedly leaked to the internet. Having seen enough b-listers fumble awkwardly through nightvision copulation, and having no interest in seeing Bam's dingaling, I quickly deleted the e-mail. As a joke that was assuredly only funny to me, I put the phrase in my site title as a knock on myself for some of the other Google-handling episodes I've spun in the past.

And then it turned out to actually be a hot item, one people were actually searching for. I began getting e-mails asking for the tape. So I did some research on the subject.

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Now this is a PIMP ride

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Nine Weird Tax Write-Offs

Nine weirdest tax write-offs. Your dog gets cash

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FAT and happy

New study confirms what McDonald's already knows: Most Americans who are overweight and lazy are perfectly happy that way

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Arrested for Telling Lawyer Jokes

A man arrested after telling lawyer jokes at a courthouse got the last laugh when a grand jury dismissed the disorderly conduct charge against him.

"It's still legal in America to tell jokes — even about lawyers," said 70-year-old Harvey Kash's lawyer, Ron Kuby, about Monday's decision.

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White Chick?

Did you see Sunday's video statement by Michael Jackson on his sexual-molestation trial? No, really. Did you see it?

We ask because, if you look closely (watch it again at mjjsource.com, Jacko's official Web site), you'll notice that the so-called ``King of Pop'' has managed to change his appearance once again.

Since his mug shot of Nov. 20, 2003, Jacko's hair has gotten a little longer and a little straighter. His lips are fuller, his makeup job a little heavier.

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Phuket... Cleaned Up Already

This gallery is not intending to hide the reality of Phuket drama, but to reflect the effort done by locals and volunteers to rebuilt the island and keep hope and faith in the future. Pictures are taken daily, showing some progress but not hiding the places still to be cleaned and the huge work still to be done... More tourists are on the beach everyday and it gives us hope. Hundred of people have join the cleaning effort and every single shop is doing its own cleaning and all together the amount of work already done is amazing!
If you want to help Phuket and people living here, come back for holidays!

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Christians mistakenly buy Porn

It was when a topless woman appeared on screen speaking Italian that devout Christians Alan and Anne Leigh-Browne realised the Doris Day film they had bought might have been wrongly packaged.

The elderly British couple urged the supermarket where they bought the DVD purporting to be The Pyjama Game, the 1957 romantic comedy starring the wholesome US actress, to investigate what went wrong.

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Ghetto Beyonce

Ebony Glanville from London wanted to be like Beyoncé. She really liked the star's hairstyle. She saved some money and went to a beautyshop. Now what went wrong?

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Penalized for refusing to Suck Dick???

A 25-year-old waitress who turned down a job providing "sexual services" at a brothel in Berlin faces possible cuts to her unemployment benefit under laws introduced this year.

Prostitution was legalised in Germany just over two years ago and brothel owners -- who must pay tax and employee health insurance -- were granted access to official databases of jobseekers.

The waitress, an unemployed information technology professional, had said that she was willing to work in a bar at night and had worked in a cafe.

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Daily Caption Contest

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Dumbass doesn't miss her flight...BUT....

A New Jersey teenager who tried to avoid missing her flight to London by having a friend call in a bomb threat was sentenced yesterday to a year in prison. Hatice Ceylan, 19, of Edgewater Park, Burlington County, already had served eight months of that sentence since her arrest in June.

Realizing she couldn't recover her travel papers in time, she had a friend in England, Ilays Savas, phone a hotel at Philadelphia International Airport on the day of the flight and claim that someone was planning to stash bombs aboard both planes.

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No more Viagra... Please

The grateful people of Sri Lanka would like to make a humble request to all those who have offered succor to its devastated tsunami victims: Please, no more ski jackets, moisturizing gel or Viagra.

The recent outpouring of tsunami support has brought with it a mountain of unusable stuff from the Western world. That includes cozy winter hats, Arctic-weather tents, cologne and thong underwear. Dubbed "frustrated cargo" by aid workers -- because it often has nowhere to go -- these misfit items are gathering dust in warehouses and creating major headaches for relief workers in the field.

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Another Britney sighting



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GW Bush ... The Movie

With excuses to George Lucas....

A short time ago in a galaxy not so far, far away...

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Monday, February 07, 2005

What Me... Worry?

Social Security is gonna bite you in the ass. Unless its fixed now. But why is there so much lying and plain old bullshit about this issue?

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Who says Asian guys can't drive?

http://www.big-boys.com/articles/racedrift.html

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Sunday, February 06, 2005

Muppets Face Felony Charges

In much the same manner as beloved childhood figures Pee-Wee Herman and Michael Jackson, the Muppets of Sesame Street have been brought up on a host of felony charges. Sesame Street, which is located in downtown Camden, New Jersey, has long been a hotbed of crime, financed largely through the Muppets’ “Children’s Television Workshop” money laundering scheme.

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Sherry Enema

Investigators say a Lake Jackson woman caused her husband's death by giving him a sherry enema, leading to alcohol poisoning. The enema caused his blood alcohol level to soar to 0.47 percent — almost six times the legal intoxication limit, a toxicology report showed.

I ask you this: what kind of man likes sherry?

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Robodump

RoboDump is a robot. Sort of. And it poops. Sort of. Forever. A horrible, never-ending bowel movement complete with straining grunts, horrific gas, splashes, and pee sounds.

The left channel speaker points up into the room (for the voice effects) and the right channel speaker points down into the toilet (for the business-end effects).



I snuck RoboDump into the men's room at the office. Unfortunately, today turned out to be the day of a board meeting. Whoops! It still went over well; the office was abuzz all morning with gossip about the guy in the bathroom. Several people theorized it was the CFO. The janitor commented to someone in the hallway that he wanted to clean the restroom but "this guy's been in there all morning."

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Slut Of The Week

A woman caught naked with a 14-year-old Colorado boy in a motel room was not criminally responsible for the act because of her mental state, a judge says.

Tonia Marie Swiggum, 20, of Lake City, Minn., was arrested in July at the Rodeway Inn on charges of inappropriate contact with the Colorado boy, who was in town for the USA Wrestling tournament.

After lying naked with him in bed, she danced and posed nude while the boy's 17-year-old teammate videotaped her, the boy told police.

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New Girl Group in Town

Destiny's Child watch out! Here comes a new supergroup. They will sell out arenas and during the summertime they will even make sure stadiums are packed! Every guy will be eager to fight over backstage passes! Not only are their songs better than the stuff Beyoncé usually writes, they love to show much more skin too. And remember where you met them, over here at Attu's. Enjoy these Disco Vixens.

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Not exactly Mr. Sensitive

The US Marine Corps has publicly upbraided one of its generals for his comments describing shooting people in Iraq as "fun".

Discussing fighting in Iraq, the General said he liked brawling and enjoyed shooting people. The Marine Corps said Lt Gen James Mattis had been "counselled" concerning his remarks, made during a panel discussion in California.

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