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Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Destroying the earth: Easier said than done

Destroying the Earth is harder than you may have been led to believe.

You've seen the action movies where the bad guy threatens to destroy the Earth. You've heard people on the news claiming that the next nuclear war or cutting down rainforests or persisting in releasing hideous quantities of pollution into the atmosphere threatens to end the world.


The Earth was built to last. It is a 4,550,000,000-year-old, 5,973,600,000,000,000,000,000-tonne ball of iron. It has taken more devastating asteroid hits in its lifetime than you've had hot dinners, and lo, it still orbits merrily. So my first piece of advice to you, dear would-be Earth-destroyer, is: do NOT think this will be easy.


Ron Jeremy -- Too much sex is a bad thing

As one of the most penetrating stars of the adult movie industry, with almost 1,800 movies under his belt, Ron Jeremy knows a thing or two about sex! In a business where talent can be measured in inches, Ron has been keeping up with the Johnsons since the ’70s to become one of the biggest stars in adult films.

Recently, Ron proved that he's a big man when it comes to small animals by taking a break from his daily grind to pose for a new PETA ad promoting spaying and neutering. In the tongue-in-cheek ad, the Surreal Life star lies naked on a bed, with the tagline “Too much sex can be a bad thing. Help end overpopulation—spay and neuter your dogs and cats.”


Anal Sex is biblical?

Are you saving yourself for your wedding night? The Devil wants you to fail, that’s why he puts these stumbling blocks in your way. But God wants you to succeed, and that’s why he has given us an alternative to intercourse before marriage: anal sex. Through anal sex, you can satisfy your body’s needs, while you avoid the risk of unwanted pregnancy and still keep yourself pure for marriage.


Dude... You got a KNIFE in your head

A 63-year-old Pole suffering headaches and lack of appetite was reportedly completely unaware a 12-cm-long knife blade stuck in his head was the source of his woes.

Physicians in Bialystok, eastern Poland, were shocked to find the knife blade lodged in the cranium of the unidentified patient.

The man suspects he sustained the injury after falling off a kitchen stool when he was drunk, but noticed no blood and had no major pain at the time. He later found the handle of his favourite knife but the blade had mysteriously vanished.


You mean if a penis enters my vagina I may get pregnant?

As many as 30 per cent of couples in the Philippines are unaware that having sex can result in babies, Health Secretary Manuel Dayrit said on Tuesday.

"They do not know how pregnancy happens," even though some of them have had numerous children already, Dayrit remarked.

The discovery was the result of field studies by health workers who went door-to-door to determine population control program awareness, Dayrit said in remarks released in Manila.


Another Asshole Teacher

The Board of Education may toughen its policy on use of wireless telephones in schools, after a videotape was posted on several independent Web sites.

The tape was made by a student in Stuart Mantel's class and shows Mantel screaming at his students about standing quietly while "The Star-Spangled Banner" is played. When a student, identified on the Web site only as "Jay," refused to stand, the video shows Mantel yanking the chair from under him.

Thes story goes on and now they are discussing wether to ban cell phones equiped with cameras. Is that justified? I don't know. I know there are companies where you are not allowed on the grounds with phones like that.


Farting Preacher

What did he have for lunch? Is there a better way to collect money for your church than the Farting Preacher?


Raped by her 'husband'?

Police were searching on Tuesday for a man who entered his neighbour's house in Hazyview, Mpumalanga, and had sex with a woman who mistook him for her husband.

Mpumalanga police Captain Benjamin Bhembe said the intruder may have overheard the 48-year-old woman's husband mention that he would be visiting a neighbour.

The woman reported to police that she had been sleeping on Saturday night, but woke up to a man undressing her.

She had sex with him as she thought it was her husband.


Dumbass teenieboppers

Teenagers in Orlando, Fla., are leaping between 80-foot high public parking garages in a new trend called "garage jumping." Local 6 News reported that the thrill seekers are vaulting themselves between garages in downtown Orlando.

Tim Bargfrede told Local 6 News that he was following friends when he attempted to garage jump and did not make it to the other side. Bargfrede fell six stories and was knocked unconscious on impact.

"I just didn't make it," Bargfrede said. Bargfrede survived the 80-foot fall but was injured


Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Stupid Pic of the Day


Monday, February 28, 2005

Tampon for female smokers

Introducing Nic-a-tampon, the smoking cessation product made just for women. Nic-a-tampon lets you stop smoking conveniently and discreetly. Just insert a 25 mg tampon in the morning and remove it at bedtime. Your cravings for nicotine will be reduced, helping you break the physical habit of smoking.


Best Dressed Homeless People?

Some South Korean homeless are dressing in style after the government gave away thousands of fake designer garments confiscated by customs agents.

The Korea Customs Service distributed more than 3,500 fake pieces in the southern city of Pusan this month with the permission of the fashion houses whose designs had been pirated.


Funky Accident Reports

Accident insurance claim forms ask for a brief statement about how the accident happened. The combination of the finger pointing instinct and the small spaces provided on the forms can lead to some curiously phrased explanations.


Prison sex -- the good kind

Two Turkish prison inmates who drilled a nine-centimetre (3.6-inch) aperture between their cells enabling them to have sexual relations in prison that produced a child, received four-month sentences for damaging public property.

Convicted murderer Seylan Corduk, 40, and Kadriye Fikret Oget, 27, serving time for planting a bomb in a market, managed to drive the hole through their concrete communal cell wall, according to court records quoted by the newspapers Vatan et Hurriyet.

The guilty pair each originally received one-year sentences plus a 218-million-Turkish-lira fine (128 euros, 169 dollars).


Banned High school Lesbian

County school officials are backing a principal's decision to bar a picture of a lesbian student dressed in a tuxedo from the high school yearbook.

Sam Ward, principal of Fleming Island High School, said he pulled the senior class picture because Kelli Davis was wearing boy's clothes. His decision was debated Thursday at a Clay County school board meeting that drew 200 people, but the board took no action, and Superintendent David Owens said the decision will stand.

Most of the 24 people who spoke at the meeting supported Kelli Davis.


Sunday, February 27, 2005

Inflatable Animals make for a sexy time

Has this ever happened to you? You're walking through Toys "R" Us, and you catch the furtive come-hither stare of a dolphin pool toy. You try to ignore it, but this inflatable ingenue is asking for it in a big way.

So you slap down the ol' MasterCard and take Flipper home, thinking the whole way of how you're going to rock its little plastic world. A little bubbly, some oral as you breathe life into its smooth, aerodynamic form, and next thing you know...ba da bing!


Man marries the wrong twin

A Romanian man is demanding a divorce after finding out he married the twin sister of the woman he fell in love with.

Vladut R, from Constanta, lived for three years with his wife Monica but says he couldn't go on with the "ordeal" because he loved her sister.

The man met the "love of his life" - Elena - a few years ago during a trip to France.


Dork or Genius? (PIC)



Man has sex with cows

NEILLSVILLE, Wis. - A 63-year-old man is charged with sexual gratification with an animal for allegedly having sex with calves.