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Friday, June 03, 2005

Spiderbite


Warning: very disturbing, it's a realistic demonstration on what should have happened to Peter Parker a.k.a. Spidey.

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Fired for a boner at work

Life hasn't been easy for Scott Domelly (No relation to Shannon). He had a vasectomy at the ripe age of 20, after his wife had her second kid. She then left him for an older, better-endowed man from Pakistan and he's forced to pay what little money he makes at the factory in child support. And now, he's lost his $6.00 an hour job at Medtown Meats for having an erection that lasted three days straight.

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Stage set for '.xxx' Internet addresses

The Internet's primary oversight body approved a plan Wednesday to create a virtual red-light district, setting the stage for pornographic Web sites to use new addresses ending in "xxx".

Adult-oriented sites, a $12 billion industry, probably could begin buying "xxx" addresses as early as fall or winter depending on ICM's plans, ICANN spokesman Kieran Baker said.

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Lawmaker Wants Lower Soldier Drinking Age

One Wisconsin lawmaker figures if the U.S. military trusts 19-year-olds with a $10 million tank, then the state should trust them with a beer.

State Rep. Mark Pettis, a Republican who served in the Navy, is pushing a bill that would drop the drinking age to 19 for Wisconsin soldiers — but only if the federal government agrees it will not yank an estimated $50 million a year in highway aid.

A federal law ties federal highway dollars to compliance by the states with the required drinking age of 21.

"We're treating these young men and women as adults when they're at war. But we treat them like teenagers when they're here in the states," he said.

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What stupid tourists do...

When you're from out of town, just make sure you don't look like you're out of your mind either. See tourists behaving badly.

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Squint to read this...

Can you see the message? If not, then that tells something about you....

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Hiker uses martial arts to fight off grizzly bear

An Alberta man on a Bible retreat successfully used his Brazilian martial arts training on the weekend to fend off a charging grizzly.

Lyle Simpson was hiking through the bush with friends west of Calgary on Saturday when the bruin started chasing him, he said.

“It just burst out of the bush, charging right away. There wasn’t much time to think,” said Simpson, 32, who added there was a cub nearby. The hikers quickly ran in different directions, but as Simpson was trying to escape, he tripped and landed on his back...

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New in town?

I learn it from a book....
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Fan beaten onstage at Snoop Dogg concert

A Seattle-area hip-hop fan claims he was pummeled onstage this weekend at a concert with Snoop Dogg, The Game, Oowee and other artists.

Richard Monroe, 24, said he jumped onstage to dance at the encouragement of the rap artists when about a dozen people, including Snoop Dogg, hit and kicked him repeatedly. He alleges they ripped out his diamond earrings, poured alcohol on him, stole his watch and cell phone and took his wallet containing cash and identification.

Fans who watched the chaotic scene on stage Saturday had varying accounts. Some said they saw a man rush toward the artists from the backstage area before the fight broke out.

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Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Voyeur notice

Creepy voyeur
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Self Chilling Can

There's finally a real, working, practical self-refridgerating can. The Instant Cool Can (I.C. Can™) uses a 100% safe and environmentally friendly self-refridgerating process that cools by using brilliantly simple water evaporation. In fact, it's proven to lower beverage temperature by a minimum 30° F (16.7° C) in just three minutes.


Self Chilling Can

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G-strings to be banned?

Doctors have revealed that G-strings are bad for women's health and should be banned.

Experts in Germany warn that the skimpy pants can damage skin and cause infections.

Gynaecologists prefer women to wear traditional bigger knickers after seeing an "enormous" rise in patients reporting genital inflammation.

"G-strings can abrade and injure the sensitive skin around the genital area - especially if they are too tight or made with badly stitched material," Dr Thomas Gent was quoted by the Sun, as saying.

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Mining Truck Accident

The hazards of mining....
Mining Truck Accident

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Driver's short cut to prison

A drunk driver left his pal's headless corpse in his car overnight because he didn't realise he had killed the man. Last night, John Hutcherson was beginning five years in a US prison.

Frankie Brohm was decapitated when he leaned his head out of the moving car's window to be sick. A cable holding a telegraph pole sliced through his neck as best pal Hutcherson drove home from a night out.

Frankie's body slumped back into his seat - and oblivious Hutcherson, 21, went home and got into bedA neighbour discovered the 23-year-old's body the next morning in Marietta,Georgia.

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Shopping Cart Abusers

We keep files at the Center. Extensive ones. Records and photos are kept on hundreds of Abusers from scores of Shopping Cart abuse gangs. Culled from these archives presented here are the ten most flagrant offenders. The top 10 were picked based on volume of abuses, grotesque and absurd nature of violations, general disposition and dexterity.

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Christian Slater accused of groping woman

Actor Christian Slater was arrested early Tuesday for allegedly groping a woman on a Manhattan street, police said.

Slater and his girlfriend were arguing at a small grocery store on Manhattan's Upper East Side early Tuesday, a prosecutor said in Manhattan criminal court. The actor was buying a soda when he allegedly walked up behind the woman and grabbed her buttocks.

The woman, who wasn't identified, flagged down police, said police spokesman Detective John Sweeney. Slater, 35, was found nearby and the woman identified him as the man who allegedly had groped her.



Christian Slater

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Brunette Paris Hilton?

Going for a new look...

Paris Hilton

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Mom-to-be advertises baby as billboard

When Michele Hutchison's baby is born, she envisions more than a pure bundle of bouncing joy. She also sees a potential billboard.

The suburban Philadelphia mom-to-be is inviting advertisers to put their names on her child's clothing and baby goods, saying the ads are sure to get noticed.

"Everyone looks at babies. We're going to be out and about all the time," said Michele Hutchison, 26, whose second child is due in June.

Hutchison, a stay-at-home mother, has placed notices on the Web sites Craigslist and eBay seeking bids of at least $1,000 for the rights for one month.

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Tree Hotel

A hotel with rooms built in the branches of a tree has opened its doors for business in Germany.

A hotel with rooms built in the branches of a tree has opened in Saxony, Germany /Europics

Guests spend the night in wooden rooms suspended in branches 30-feet above the ground.

The Zentendorf Tree House in Saxony, offers five rooms connected by narrow walkways and built into the branches of a black locust tree.

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Funny kid

....he should have stuck with the slide...or maybe he messed that up too.

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Mouse Hunt


The art of catching a mouse. Via

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Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Star Wars DORKS

More pictures of Star Wars Dorks!

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Will Smith on Ozzfest?

Jada Pinkett Smith is set to infuriate heavy rockers even more as she considers including hip-hop husband Will Smith in her Ozzfest tour plans.

Ozzfest headliner Ozzy Osbourne caused controversy earlier this month when he added the actress' metal group Wicked Wisdom to the touring festival.

Enraged fans suggested the move would cause a riot when they sent hate mail to the Ozzfest website - and now Pinkett Smith plans to add insult to injury with an idea to bringing her husband onstage.

She says, "We're thinking about it. He's really become a real metalhead lately. He fell in love with Otep the other night, so that was really interesting. He wanted to get in the pit."

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Sly Stallone Mocks Orlando Blooms Super Hero Status

Sylvester Stallone is horrified Orlando Bloom is trying to take his place as Hollywood's action hero.

He says, "Today's idea of an action hero is Orlando Bloom. Orlando Bloom? Give me a break!.

deutscher Celebrity News Sly Stallone Mocks Orlando Blooms Super Hero Status

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Oliver Stone arrested on drug, DUI charges in Beverly Hills

Oliver Stone, 58, was arrested Friday night at a police checkpoint on Sunset Boulevard after showing signs of alcohol intoxication, police Sgt. John Edmundson said.

A search of his Mercedes turned up unspecified drugs, Edmundson said. Stone was released at 6:30 a.m. Saturday after posting $15,000 bail.

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Louis Vuitton Laptop

Along with this Louis Vuitton be sure to pick up the diamond studded laptop they sell on that site as well. It goes for a cool $350,000.

Louis Vuitton Laptop

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Helicopter lands on Mount Everest


Is it good that we can now fly to the summit in a helicopter? What do you think? EverestNews.com has several questions into erucopter. This all has been a bit strange, maybe they planned it that way...

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Rubik's Cube Art

Have you got a Rubik's cube stored somewhere in your attick? Do you have a couple of thousand of them hidden in a secret room? If so, you too could take part in the Rubik's Cube Art club.

Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image Image

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Introducing iGuy

Meet iGuy- the first bendable, posable friend for you and your iPod! Not only is iGuy fun, he's fully functional- offering great rubberized protection, docking capability, and screen protection for your iPod or iPod Photo.



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Principal nixes graduation ceremony after toilet prank

The high school seniors thought they were pulling a memorable graduation prank when they sneaked into the school one morning and covered the toilet seats with plastic wrap and greased up the door handles.

They even left a note for the principal that read, "We love you, Mr. Pearson."

But Mr. Pearson wasn't amused - he canceled the graduation ceremony and ordered the school's senior class to stay home the last six days of school.

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Sexual Star Wars

TOP SEXUALLY SLANTED LINES FROM THE STAR WARS TRILOGY

From Star Wars:
10. "Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!"
9. "Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
8. "Put that thing away before you get us all killed."
7. "You've got something jammed in here real good."
6. "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?"
5. "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
4. "Sorry about the mess..."
3. "Look at the size of that thing!"
2. "Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!"
1. "She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid."

From The Empire Strikes Back:
10. "I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me."
9. "Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?"
8. "There's an awful lot of moisture in here."
7. "But now we must eat. Cum, good food, cumm..."
6. "That's okay, I'd like to keep it on manual control for a while."
5. "Hurry up, golden-rod..."
4. "I must've hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh kid?"
3. "Possible he came in through the south entrance."
2. "And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!"
1. "Control, control! You must learn control!"

From Return of the Jedi:
13. C3PO: "What could possibly have come over Master Luke? Is it something I did? He never expressed any unhappiness with my work."
12. Han: "Hey, point that thing someplace else."
11. Emperor: "I look forward to completing your training. In time you will call me master."
10. Leia: "You're a jittery little thing, aren't you?"
9. C3PO: "I never knew I had it in me."
8. Lando: "Someone must've told them about my little maneuver at the battle of Taanab."
7. Luke: "There is good in him, I've felt it."
6. C3PO: "If I told you half the things I've heard about this Jabba the Hutt, you'd probably short circuit."
5. Jerjerrod: "I assure you, Lord Vader, my men are working as fast as they can."
Darth: "Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them."
4. Han: "Grab me, Chewie. I'm slipping -- hold on. Grab it, almost...you almost got it. Gently now, all right, easy, easy, hold me, Chewie. Chewie!"
Lando: "A little higher, just a little higher."
3. Han: "Short help's better than no help at all."
2. Han: "Hey, Luke, thanks for coming after me -- now I owe you one."
1. Han: "Back door, huh? Good idea!"

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Ex-porn star becomes ex-con

Police charge a former porn star has found a new way to make money - stealing it.

Joy Marquart was known as Farrah when she starred in dozens of porno films during the 1990s, with titles like "Farrah's Deceptive Desires."

According to authorities in northern New Jersey, Marquart used her good looks and fake IDs to empty bank accounts. Investigators say she took more than $40,000 from several North Jersey banks before being busted this week.

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Perfect Gift for the Perfect Girlfriend

If you're running out of ideas on what to get your girlfriend/fiancee for your anniversary, why not get her forget-me-not panties? The technology is integrated seamlessly into the fabric so she won't even know that you can trace her exact location and even monitor her heart rate and body temperature.

More

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Give me the real score....

Can I score with one of you girls?

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Dishwasher Salmon with Cilantro Sauce

There are a lot of ways to prepare fish to be eaten but have you ever considered cooking your fish in a dishwasher?

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Introducing the Vagina Lady

Welcome to VaginaLady.com, a feminist arts-and-crafts endeavor that pays homage to that loveliest of female organs. Shrouded in mystery, spoken of derisively, the vagina exerts a power that is fundamental but poorly understood. Women have been made to feel it is a shameful and unattractive thing, most often by the very men who were most shamefully attracted to it.

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Monday, May 30, 2005

Fantastic Bike Gallery

The Home Builder's Gallery is a place for home builders to share their creations with the world. It should be noted that the Bicycle Forest does not endorse any of these designs. Many of these bicycles would be potentially dangerous to ride and are apt to be structurally unsound. They are shown here for your amusement only.

Four seat tandem bicycle

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The band played on....

So how's the weather up there?
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Man Steals $120,000, Quarter by Quarter

A former parking meter attendant accused of stealing $120,000 - quarter by quarter - has pleaded guilty to embezzlement and has promised to pay most of it back.

Vincent J. Howard agreed in court Tuesday to repay $70,000 within 30 days and $30,000 more over the two years that he will be on probation.

Macomb County Circuit Judge Richard Caretti also ordered the 50-year-old Howard to spend six months on an electronic tether.

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Phallic logo awards



The game designers across the nation are playing is; can they design a logo and get it approved without the client realising it's a big spurting penis?

We asked our readers to send in the best cock logos from around the world for our team of experts to evaluate. Now we present to you the very cream of the cocks.

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Michael Jackson stars in this season's THE BACHELOR

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Pass it on to all your friends. Click the ENVELOPE icon below!

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Sunday, May 29, 2005

Alyssa Milano Nip Slip

Yup that's Alyssa's nip peeking in the third frame.

Alyssa Milano Nipple Slip - Click here to view

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Keep the drinks coming....

I'd like to have whatever she's having...
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PlayStation -- the adult version

I watch porn and plug in the PlayStation at the same time. I worked out that you can have the PlayStation running but have the TV on a different channel. First I get to a part in a game where if I run into the walls, the controller vibrates. I hold down the button and the character runs into the walls continuously so the controller vibrates nonstop. Then I switch over to the porn and hold the controller on my clit and come at the same time the chick on the screen does while pretending the guy is doing the same thing to me. It feels sooo good, you have to try it!

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Care to pee in public?

He obviously does not have bladder shyness.

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Make him beg for it

Quick, throw him a bone....
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