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Friday, August 12, 2005

The new King of Ireland is....a goat?

A wild mountain goat was crowned King of Ireland on Wednesday in an ancient annual ritual whose origins are lost in the mists of history.

For three days, Charlie, a grey male goat with brown trimmings, will reign over this year's Puck Fair -- one of Ireland's oldest and best-loved street festivals -- in Killorglin, in the southwestern county of Kerry.


Comeback of the muralist who couldn't spell

The book on the Livermore public library's mosaic spelling fiasco is officially C-L-O-S-E-D.

The Miami muralist who misspelled Shakespeare, Michelangelo and nine other famous names on a mosaic outside the library slipped into town to correct her errors -- at a cost of $6,000 to the city.

And this time, city officials promise they have checked her work before it gets set in stone.

On Tuesday, Maria Alquilar worked under the blazing sun, using power tools to reshape and install tiles changing "Eistein" to "Einstein" and "Van Gough" to "Van Gogh."


Man kidnaps wife and blames Dr. Phil

A Wisconsin man says he wanted someone to kidnap his wife just to scare her, and he got the idea from watching Dr. Phil.

His attorney says Ronald Schueller thought his estranged wife needed a scare "so she would see the error of her ways."

He's accused of trying to hire someone to knock his wife unconscious and lock her in the truck of a car. Authorities say it never happened because the man Schueller tried to hire was actually an undercover sheriff's deputy.


The Sperm Show goes on air

New Dutch commercial television channel Talpa is planning to broadcast a show called "I want your child and nothing else" featuring a single woman who gets to choose a sperm donor to father her child.

The program is initially a one-off that will be aired on August 23 with viewers allowed to vote on whether it should stay on the air, the Algemeen Dagblad daily reported on Wednesday.

The idea for the "Spermshow", as Dutch media are calling it, was already launched once in 2001 but caused a storm of protest in the Netherlands even leading to questions in parliament.


Take two

A 75-year-old German was so shocked he had accidentally run down his wife he started forward and drove over her again, authorities said on Wednesday.

Police in the western town of Bad Nauheim said the man compounded his 73-year-old wife's misery after an onlooker told him he had just run her over while backing out of a parking space. The woman was rushed to hospital and survived.


Drunken thug gets boozing life ban

A drunken thug has been banned from buying booze in his home city for life. Cleaner Richard Hurst, 21, started drinking when he was 12 and has been locked up seven times since he was 15.

Now he cannot buy alcohol at any pub, club, bar, off-licence, corner shop or even supermarkets in York. He can’t even walk down a store aisle containing alcohol.

The ban was handed out at York Crown Court as Hurst was jailed for four years for bursting into a house and beating a man in his own bed.


Thursday, August 11, 2005

Price Is Right model dumped for being "too sexy"

Game show model Samantha Steele has been dumped from television for being too sexy.

Price Is Right producers ordered her off the Channel Nine show on Wednesday, claiming she did not fit the show's "family image".
"They said I had too much of a sexy image for the show," Ms Steele told the Sunday Herald Sun.

Ms Steele, 22, said producers discovered raunchy pictures of her on the internet, but said she was shocked that her image had led to her being dropped because producers encouraged all the models to be flirtatious and sexy.


Mathematics 101

A 54 year old accountant leaves a letter for his wife one Friday evening that reads...

Dear Wife,
I am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Grand Hotel with my beautiful and sexy 18 year old secretary."

When he arrived at the hotel there was a letter waiting for him that read as follows...

Dear Husband,
I too am 54 and by the time you receive this letter I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with my handsome and virile 18 year old boy toy. AND, you, being an accountant, will appreciate that 18 goes into 54 many more times than 54 goes into 18."


Settle it like men--fist fight in the schoolyard

A 30-year-old Bayonne man was busted early Saturday morning after he threw garbage out of his moving Hummer, then challenged cops to a fight when they attempted to ticket him for it, Bayonne police said yesterday.

The passenger, Robert Hurd, 30, of Trask Avenue, climbed down from the truck and officers told him he would receive a littering summons.

"We'll settle this like men so take off your badge and we'll go in the schoolyard and fight," Hurd allegedly told the officers, and then approached them with his fists waving, according to reports.


Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Unlucky man got beaten with his own leg

Greg Gale has had some rough times.

He lost his leg in a train accident twenty years ago, and now, he's been beaten by his own prosthetic leg. Gale tells abc12's Jennifer Borrasso he and his girlfriend, Tammy Johnson, got into an argument at his Midland apartment this past Wednesday night.

He says she started beating him in the face and head several times with one of his spare prosthetic legs. He tried to get away, but says she followed him out the door, still hitting him with the leg.


Couple banging on police car caught

Dutch police have arrested a couple for having sex on the bonnet of their patrol car. The couple, from Groningen, said they hadn't noticed the two policemen sitting in the car.

One of the officers got out of the car and told the couple to stop what they were doing and leave. The 25-year-old man was arrested after he refused and insulted the policeman, reports Het Laatste Nieuws.

His 33-year-old lover was also arrested after she tried to stop the car from taking her boyfriend away.


Attempted rape suspect 'stunned' by victim's reaction--thought she was a hooker

An Oceanside man accused of kidnapping and trying to rape a woman who was walking home alone testified Monday that he thought the victim was a prostitute and was stunned at her reaction to his advances.

Marcus Threats, who faces life in prison if convicted, said he did not have time or the ability to carry the woman into a South Coast Highway parking lot, as she has testified.

Threats said he went out around 2 a.m. on Dec. 21 for a jog and in hopes of finding a prostitute for oral sex.

"I figured the only women out there after 2 a.m. would be hookers," Threats said. "That's why I approached her."

Under cross-examination, he conceded that he had only one dollar on him when he was detained, not nearly enough to pay for sex.


Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Nudity, gambling, underage drinking lead to review of license

Frog's Sports Club Inc.'s liquor license was under review at a village hearing Thursday night because of police reports of nudity, gambling and underage drinking.

On Saturday, East Carondelet Police and the St. Clair County Sheriff's Department arrived at 707 Davis Street Ferry Road in East Carondelet and shut down Frog's bar after witnessing two nude women wrestling in a swimming pool filled with spaghetti noodles.

Ray Curtis, co-owner of the bar, asked Mayor Herb Simmons not to revoke the bar's liquor license. "Everybody deserves a second chance," Curtis said. "That's what we're asking for."

Village Attorney David Schneidewind asked for the village to revoke the bar's liquor license for violating local ordinances and state statutes regarding illegal gambling, nudity and underage drinking.


Man behind bars for assaulting a sleeping woman

A business executive was sentenced on Thursday to seven years in prison for sexually assaulting a sleeping woman seated next to him on a Delta Air Lines flight from Dallas to Boston.

A statement from the U.S. Attorney for Massachusetts said that on April 5, Deepak Jahagirdar, 55, laid a blanket over the 22-year-old woman who was returning from a vacation, unfastened her seat belt, unbuttoned her pants and assaulted her by touching her genitals.

He was very desperate to become a member of the mile-high club


Feet size and willy--related?

Now we’re not pulling your leg lads — but girls CAN tell the size of your willy just by looking at your feet.
In a giant step for manhood, sorry mankind, scientists confirm the old wives’ theory that a bloke’s foot size is directly related to that of his todger.

And the Moscow University team has even come up with a formula to help ladies size up a potential partner at a glance: willy size = foot length in centimetres + 5, divided by 2.


Monday, August 08, 2005

Nude swimmer stuns Californian diners

A man swimming in the buff along the shoreline is causing a stir where tourists stroll along the waterfront and dine in restaurants overlooking San Francisco Bay.

The skinny-dipper has shocked diners and prompted complaints to police.

"He makes fly-bys," City Manager Dana Whitson said. "Usually, people look for seals. Some of the diners are kind of surprised."


Peter Jennings passed away at age 67

Nearly four months to the day since he announced in a hoarse voice on his evening newscast that he had been diagnosed with lung cancer, longtime ABC "World News Tonight" anchor Peter Jennings died Sunday, according to the ABC News network. He was 67.


Woman smuggles hand in USA

A U.S. Customs Primary Inspector at a border crossing asked the driver of this Suburban for vehicle registration. Suddenly, a hand came out of the glove compartment, producing the requested document, which the driver showed the inspector.Since the driver did not appear to be a member of the Addams Family, the inspector became suspicious, thus leading to a full search.Just think, if alien smugglers can put a 135-lb. body behind the dashboard, imagine what they could do with dope.


Sunday, August 07, 2005

Damn ... some sweet brown Latin ass