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Friday, September 02, 2005

MJ free at last!

He ate Buffalo wings. He took a speedboat to a luxury villa on a manmade island. He buzzed around the Emirate with a race car driver and a prince.

In contrast to the frail and somewhat withdrawn Michael Jackson cleared of child abuse charges in June, the king of pop appeared at ease during his visit to this Persian Gulf sheikdom, said Mohammed Bin Sulayem, the Emirates champion rally driver who escorted Jackson on sightseeing tours.

“I would love to see him come to this part of the world and live — or even just to have a second house,” the champion driver said. The singer visited a pair of Dubai’s $14 billion manmade island developments, touring The Palm Jumeirah, one of three palm tree-shaped archipelagoes under construction.


Porn and Philantrophy -- who says they don't mix?

At the Playtime adult store in Edison, Del Monte green beans are stacked near the Tantric love oils.

The store is touting its "Food 4 Porn" campaign, which offers free DVDs to customers who donate canned goods between now and Thanksgiving. "There are people starving in the U.S. It's abominable, it's just not right," said owner Deirdre Krasner.

This isn't Playtime's first fling with philanthropy. Two years ago, it sent more than 100 sex toys to the women of Iraq, an effort it called "operation vibration." ("I feel very strongly about women being suppressed," explained Krasner.)

Earlier this year, Playtime sent condoms to a small town in Australia where the local pharmacist was anti-birth control. But when Krasner wanted to help victims of December's tsunami, she sent money, not merchandise.

Yes, Krasner admits, she wants the publicity. But she also wants to help, she says.


A blinding kiss!

Louise Kelsey, 58, was working at Melbourne's Park Hyatt when she was kissed against her will on November 19, 2001 - the day before Uruguay's first World Cup play-off against Australia.

She said the player was flirting with her, saying she had beautiful eyes. He then grabbed her as she left and kissed her.

Ms Kelsey told the Victorian County Court her post traumatic stress disorder after the incident exacerbated her nystagmus - a pre-existing condition that causes involuntary eye movement.

She was declared legally blind in August 2002.


Films that McGyver missed

Kids, you’re living in a generation devoid of any real entertainment. Captain Scarlet is now made out of computers and afternoon TV consists of talentless no-marks displaying their ineptitude on a national scale in a desperate bid for their 15 seconds of fame. Let me tell you about a man who was cooler than The Fonz, who was smarter than Columbo and was more handsome than Face; this was a cat who wasn’t fazed by anything – he averted several wars, saved approximately a billion lives and bedded crazy, boy-band amounts of ass. I’m speaking of course, about the legend that was MacGyver.

Despite a TV show that showed off his godlike escapism powers and DIY skills, Mac was cruelly denied a decent film career by the powers that be; therefore, we can only imagine how some of Hollywood’s finest films would have been improved by his inclusion. Today, right here and right now, we continue to live the MacGyver dream and dare to fantasise about an industry rife with MacGyver’s daring deeds...

Ask yourself this question: would the Titanic really have sunk if MacGyver were at the wheel? You bet your sweet ass it wouldn’t.


Babe parade in Budapest!

After seeing this huge collection of pictures from Budapest, I immediately booked a flight for next years parade.



You didn't see this in Charlie's Angels!

There's ballroom dancing, there's salsa dancing, there's rock 'n roll dancing, there's samba dancing and some peopl think that even moshing is dancing. But when Cameron starts dancing, she makes sure that everybody notices her and her dancing style.


Thursday, September 01, 2005

Are you using a homo devil machine?


Online racists make me laugh

They would never and can never say their vile crap in person so they hide behind a computer screen and spout their BS. What sad pathetic jackasses. Here's a funny cartoon so you know what Im talking about

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The answer to all marital problems -- sex machine!

Dan and Jan Siechert live in a midsize bungalow in a quiet Bakersfield suburb. Bakersfield is their hometown: they met in high school, stayed together through college and have been married since then.

Dan and Jan finish each other's sentences without a hint of irritation. They hold hands while sitting in a restaurant and it's clear that Jan is as proud of Dan as he is of the machine. As a couple, they seem inseparable.


From Posh to Tash -- what Victoria fogot!

Victoria Beckham went shopping (again), but I have a feeling she forgot something. No, it was husband David (he was shooting a commercial for handpolish), it wasn't one of her kids (they are not required when you go shopping). No it was something else. Now what is is that Posh forgot.


Cops gets all the best stuff...

Law enforcement efforts to contain the emergency left by Katrina slipped into chaos in parts of New Orleans Tuesday with some police officers and firefighters joining looters in picking stores clean.

While many people carried out food and essential supplies, others cleared out jewelry racks and carted out computers, TVs and appliances on handtrucks.

Some officers joined in taking whatever they could, including one New Orleans cop who loaded a shopping cart with a compact computer and a 27-inch flat screen television.

Officers claimed there was nothing they could do to contain the anarchy, saying their radio communications have broken down and they had no direction from commanders.

“The police got all the best stuff. They’re crookeder than us,” one man said.
“It must be legal,” she said. “The police are here taking stuff, too.”


Hate someone from work? Here's how you can get even...

A postal worker has been charged with putting urine in the coffee of co-workers who set up a video camera in their break room after they became suspicious, authorities said.

Thomas Shaheen, 49, of suburban Springfield Township, who works as a vehicle mechanic for the U.S. Postal Service, was charged Aug. 5 with two misdemeanor counts of adulteration of food or placing harmful objects in food.

He was ordered to appear in Akron Municipal Court on Monday.

Prosecutors said workers believed Shaheen poured urine into a coffee pot in a break room on July 5 and again July 6. Suspecting a problem, workers started their own investigation.

"Employees did put a video camera in, and that's how they were able to put a stop to what he was doing," Akron Prosecutor Douglas Powley said.


Man raped by three women -- they must be ugly to use force!

The hunt is on for three women who ambushed a 30-year-old man and forced him to have sex with them at gunpoint.

Police spokeswoman Paula Nothnagel said that on Saturday night the man was walking through Roodepoort when the women pulled up next to him in their maroon BMW. They asked him for directions to the Savoy Hotel and he got into the car to show them the way.

At the hotel the women persuaded him to join them for a drink, before asking him for directions to yet another hotel.

"One woman produced a firearm and held the man at gunpoint," Nothnagel said. "The women got undressed and all three took turns to have intercourse with him."

The man was then ordered back into the car and dropped off along Main Reef Road.

I think those women must have been very, very ugly. Why else would there be the need for a gun?


Crazy female condoms


It's a female condom with sharp recurved barbs on the inside, removable only by surgery. The inventor says it protects the rape victim from HIV and other diseases, pregnancy, and will send the perpetrator straight to the hospital where he will be immediately identified and arrested.


Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Houdini punk'd!

Damn kids.. no respect for the dead. Oh whoops, my mistake. That is famous illusionist Criss Angel, mourning at the grave of his inspiration, Harry Houdini. This on top of yesterday's slip-up must mean I need to get my eyes checked.


Banana guard -- get perfect bananas anytime, anywhere!

Are you fed up with bringing bananas to work or school only to find them bruised and squashed? Our unique, patented device allows for the safe transport and storage of individual bananas letting you enjoy perfect bananas anytime, anywhere.

The Banana Guard was specially designed to fit the vast majority of bananas. Its other features include multiple small perforations to facilitate ventilation thereby preventing premature ripening and a sturdy locking mechanism to keep the Banana Guard closed. The Banana Guard is of course dishwasher safe for easy cleaning.

For the ladies: it can also be used as a disguise box for your flexible dildo...


New tobacco alternative -- toad pipe!

Head shops sell glass pipes that work perfect for smoking toad venom. Regular pot or tobacco pipes or bongs will completely waste this valuable substance. Continue reading to find out why. The toad pipe in the picture below is a modified test tube that was made by a chemist friend. The idea behind his method is that the torch flame never comes into direct contact with the toad venom. Direct contact with fire consumes a portion of the venom and turns it into ash; what a terrible waste! With my friend's method, there is no waste. The venom is introduced into the mouth of the tube and allowed to gravitate inside to the bottom. With the venom in this location, and without yet inhaling, apply a blue flame to the outside bottom of the pipe.

If you're still not feeling sick you should read on over here...


Pam's perky nipple secrets -- espresso!

Playboy star Pamela Anderson loves drinking espressos - because it makes her nipples perky. The curvaceous blonde beauty admits the strong coffee has a strange but pleasurable side-effect.

She told Elle magazine: "I do great cappuccinos - even though my mom calls them 'cap-a-cr*ps'. "As far as coffee goes though, I'd say espresso gets the job done - it goes right to your nipples!"

Meanwhile, sexy Pamela has urged women to ditch anti-ageing products. The former Baywatch actress says females should accept the aging process gracefully.

She added: "Don't buy into all the anti-ageing secrets. It's a conspiracy.

"We're all getting older so accept it. Don't waste your money on loads of products. Don't stress!"



In a lunchtime undercover operation, Florida cops yesterday busted 15 strippers on a variety of criminal charges, including prostitution and exposure of a sexual organ. The arrests came at five different gentlemen's clubs along U.S. Highway 19 in the Tampa area. According to the Pasco County Sheriff's Office, previous operations were carried out at night, but since the strip clubs were packed during lunch (and the talent was rather, um, frisky), the midday raid was planned.

Shannon Scarvelli wanted to a lapdance for thirty dollars and rubber her buttocks to the genitalia of the officer and than masturbated for him


Dead man walking...

Mourners who paid their last respects to a British war veteran were stunned to see him strolling through the town shortly after the funeral, newspapers said.

Friends of the former bus driver travelled from far and wide to attend the cremation after reading the death notice of a Frank Hughes in a local newspaper.

In a bizzare mix-up, the dead man being cremated had the same name and age and lived in the same northeast English town of Darlington as the mourners' beloved Frank. Pals of the 80-year-old World War II veteran even mingled with relatives after paying their respects at the service.


Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Monkey See Monkey Do Piss drinking chimp

I don't know whether to laugh or get disgusted but this chimp's hobby really got my attention.
Monkey see... Monkey do... YUCK!

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Chris Farley receives his star

Comedian Chris Farley was a motivational speaker, a rabid fan and a topless dancer on "Saturday Night Live." On Friday, the late comic was the toast of his castmates as they honored him with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

"I think it's sweet that everyone still has a real nice place in their hearts for him, they still remember him," said actor-comedian David Spade, who appeared with Farley during his 1990-95 reign on the show.


Man's ultimate fantasy -- bachelorette party!

When you think about it, a bachelorette party is the single guy’s ultimate scenario. A parade of drunken, sexually charged females roaming the bar in celebration of their friend’s upcoming wedding. They just had a private party at a nearby apartment in which they exchanged various sex toys and masturbation aides. From there, they took it to the strip club and watched very gay, but scantily clad muscular men dance and wave their limp junk in their faces. Now they are all here, under the same roof as you, and every one of them is drinking from straws shaped like penises. Talk about a silver platter.


MJ's glove out on the market!

The glove was designed by Michael Jackson in collaboration with one of his costume designers and is made with Swarovski Aurora Borealis crystals individually hand-sewn. (I am guessing that there is well over one thousand crystals on the glove.) The assembly allows for complete flexibility and individual movement of each stone. The Glove can stand up to close examination and be admired by collectors and museum curators far into the future. See it in person now on display at the museum in Challis Idaho.

And then you see the price.....


10 most expensive videos -- talk about denting your bank account!

When MTV launched on August 1, 1981, the first music video it played was "Video Killed the Radio Star" by The Buggles. What an awful video. In those days, all a music video needed was jiggly girls in bikinis, big hair, fast cars, and if you were lucky, jiggly girls with big hair driving fast cars. No huge costs, just a little something to complement the listening experience.

Then came along Michael Jackson's "Thriller" in 1983. "Thriller" wasn't a music video, it was a full-fledged crotch-grabbing experience. At 14 minutes long, "Thriller" suddenly opened the doors of creativity, proving that a music video could be more about the video and less about the music. Today, companies will spend millions of dollars to make a 3-minute video (most of it spent on computer animation and huge sets). We are proud to present a list of opulent indulgence: the 10 most expensive music videos of all time.


Vote Macgyver!

Macgyver has no skeletons in his closet, no cocaine/alochol problems, He promises not to use tragedy for political gain, no unecessary holidays, he would be the president for crying out loud! Should the most powerful man in the world be allowed to clown around on the farm for months on end? No! Macgyvers idea of a holiday is being dropped behind enemy lines armed only with a spoon and a positive attitude. That's the Macgyver way.

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The latest addition to the London Zoo...

The 'Homo Sapiens' exhibit at the London Zoo. The exhibit is intended to show the basic nature of human beings as they frolick throughout the August bank holiday weekend.


Monday, August 29, 2005

Hottest new video game

I'm sure many of the guys would love to play this video game where you strip any cutie you see. Hopefully, you guys don't do it to me. :) Click on the pic to play the video

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Shark vs. Octopus

I'd think the shark is going to win. WRONG! Check this video out.

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Primate puff, puff and away!

It's not a sight one would expect to come across in the chimpanzee enclosure.

But visitors to a zoo in China are having to get used to the sight of its resident primate puffing away on a cigarette.
Ai Ai formed the habit after watching visitors and her keepers smoking at Qinling Zoo, in central Shaanxi province.

It is thought the 26-year-old had been struggling to cope with the death of her second mate and one of her offspring.

She began picking up butts near her cage and now is given whole cigarettes from time to time to keep her calm. Keepers are trying to gradually reduce her daily intake.


Madonna downing a beer...

Back when Madonna ruled the charts she knew how to liven up the dinner conversation. Here she demonstrates a unique technique of downing a beer.



Indecent proposal: from lust to agony

Lust led to agony for a 24-year-old driver after he asked a cosmetics saleswoman to have sex with him, reported Utusan Malaysia.

The man ended up being beaten up by four men and burned with a hot iron at the woman's house in Kampung Subang Suria last week, said Petaling Jaya deputy police chief Supt Abdul Rahman Ibrahim.

The man was injured on his arms and legs, and was treated in the hospital for a week before a police report was lodged, the daily reported.

Supt Abdul Rahman said the 20-year-old woman had agreed to have sex with the man and he had gone to her house on the night of Aug 13.


Thai cabinet's member enlargement

Thailand's prime minister is trying to ferret out a government minister who allegedly had a penis enlargement procedure, saying news of it is affecting the cabinet's reputation, a news report said on Wednesday.

"Who did it? Tell me," Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra told his ministers at Tuesday's cabinet meeting, triggering a round of banter and causing some to squirm in their chairs, The Nation newspaper said.

Last week, a woman - being sued for defamation by a clinic after she claimed it gave her a face-disfiguring silicon injection - said a cabinet member had received a penis-enlargement injection at the same clinic and urged him to come forward as a witness in her defence.


Cleopatra -- not that beautiful!

Until now the image of Egyptian queen Cleopatra was associated mainly with such beauty ideals of the 20th century as Vivien Lee, Sophia Loren and Elizabeth Taylor. However, scientists knew long time ago that the queen did not looked impressive.

Either the taste of Roman emperors was different from ours or the beauty was not the main merit of the queen. Still, sculptures of that period provide us with the image of petite big-nosed lady with bandy legs and a need for dentist's service. Nevertheless, even researchers who were well informed of Cleopatra's imperfection could not imagine how ugly the first lady of Egypt had been.


Woman strangle herself in the courtroom

A Skelmersdale woman who appeared in court to admit theft charges tried to strangle herself moments after a judge refused her bail.

Kerry Hayes, who had appeared at Preston Crown Court with an arm in a sling, loosened the dressing and then wrapped it around her neck in an apparent attempt to use it as a ligature.

She leapt on to a chair in the corner of the dock before she was overpowered by a dock officer and a woman police officer who rushed over from the public gallery.


I'd make her eat my pussy

If I was in a catfight and I got the upperhand, I'd make sure the other girl eats her pride and eat my pussy at the same time. CLICK HERE for the video